Itz Aug 1st and a good damn cold Wednesday morning… geez, itz only 6.30am and what the hell im doing up so early.. i have not been able to sleep much lately…-wasnt there something good suppose to happen today?? hmm.. what was that again?? *ignorance is a bliss*

"Niza, if something that doesnt make sense and u cant put a finger to it, is hurting u so much, learn to ignore it. it will come to you when it is suppose to make u understand. be patient and do the things ure suppose to do, ok. we do not want to see u hurt like this" ~Cuz-in-law.

i have so many things to look forward to, so many things to do in life. but am i gonna go thru another round of "unsuccessful-ness"? iz been a really sucky 2007 so far.. 6 full months of it. what more horrible-ness is coming ma way?? im so numb to it so just bring it on and let me get it over and done with, please…

"You are a strong girl Niza and dont let this bring you down ok. i dont have to say so much, you know it yourself." ~Buddy

As i recount my story to her and let all ma emotions fall through, all she did was nothing and just listen but yet still leting me know in her ways that she’s here for me. What more can i ask for? Im so proud of her and i hope, she wont go thru what ive been thru.
I understand there are other people in the other parts of the world are suffering a far worst plight then me, i do sympathize with them. For that, im grateful for the things that i have and grateful for all the lessons learn. No, i dont regret. there’s nothing to regret to anyway and thats not the way i learn the ropes of life. everyday we wake up, iz a brand new day, another set of things to complete in the "to-do" list - work, mission, anniversaries, birthdays, graduation, examinations, places to go, things to buy, equipments to upgrade, bills to pay and it goes on and on. time’s not gonna wait for u. so why live in the past?? learn from the past. learn from ur mistakes. learn from other ppl’s mistakes. and be a better person. it aint easy but it is possible.

"Cuz, take it ezy. Patience darling. Mayb iz not ya luck yet." ~Cuz

A good friend of mine gave me a piece of his mind a few nights ago and it hit me in the head that maybe iz time for me to do some major changes in ma life. i’m trying to get ma life back… like a million-pieces of jigsaw puzzle, im trying to fix the little pieces to the right place back together. im sick of ma tired mind and im sick of the way things run pass me so quickly, so near yet so far far away.

"Where is the gung-ho Niza? That firm girl, that fighter? … Don’t do this to me Niza, i only have 1mth2weeks here with you and i cant leave u like this … Wake up Niza and smell the roses in the field. There are better things in life in-store for you. Don’t do this to yourself… Make the right choices and make the right move. and trust me, things will change ok. … I don’t want to recieve another hysterical call from you when im not here ok. that is gonna be the first and the last. … We all want the old Niza back. …" ~Buddy

Old Niza it is.

“Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful.
Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.”

*Thanxxx Sal…. *

She said he was a mean mean boy… "Why he so bad huh?"..

He said he didnt mean to do this… "I just lost control of things.."

She said he was just using her… "How could you…"

He said he was sorry… "I’m sorry. I never want things to turn out this way.."

Oh yeay…

I said, "Screw You!" …

Oh well, so kill me ….

"A good day always starts with a great laugh which ends with a satisfying smile at the end."

I want to adopt an african baby girl and a russian baby boy.

Can I, please…..

At the beginning
~Richard Marx & Donna Lewis

We were strangers, starting out on a journey

Never dreaming, what we’d have to go through

Now here we are, I’m suddenly standing

At the beginning with you

No one told me, I was going to find you

Unexpected, what you did to my heart

When I lost hope

You were there to remind me

This is the start

And life is a road and I wanna keep goin’

Love is a river I wanna keep flowin’

Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey

I’ll be there when the world stops turning

I’ll be there when the storm is through

In the end I want to be standing

At the beginning with you

We were strangers, on a crazy adventure

Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true

Now here we stand, unafraid of the future

At the beginning with you

And life is a road and I wanna keep goin’

Love is a river I wanna keep flowin’

Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey

I’ll be there when the world stops turning

I’ll be there when the storm is through

In the end I want to be standing

At the beginning with you

Knew there was somebody somewhere

I need love in the dark

Now I know my dream will live on

I’ve been waiting so long

Nothing is going to tear us apart

And life is a road and I wanna keep goin’

Love is a river I wanna keep flowin’

Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey

I’ll be there when the world stops turning

I’ll be there when the storm is through

In the end I want to be standing

At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I wanna keep goin’

Love is a river I wanna keep flowin’ on

Starting out on a journey

And life is a road and I wanna keep goin’

Love is a river I wanna keep flowin’

In the end I want to be standing

At the beginning

With you

Kisses Don’t Lie
-Rihanna

Kisses dont
No they dont
Never dont lie
You can run if you want but you cant hide
Tellin you its the truth dont you ask why
Kisses dont
No they dont
Kisses dont lie

[ Verse 1: ]
Emotions come and go
Almost how the wind will blow
There so little in this world to trust in
Seduce themselves with lies
Some dont realize
They call it love but its really only lustin

So you see you and me
We’re gettin close to the danger zone
Show me how tell me now
Should I stay or should i go
Cause I’m caught between yes and no

[ Hook: ]
Cause when you kiss me
I feel everything that I been missing
I try to slow down but my heart wont listen
And its tearin me all up inside
And when you touch me
I feel a rush but I’m afraid that it might crush me
Should I put my trust in somethin I dont trust in
I try to run but theres no place to hide
Cause baby kisses dont lie

Kisses dont
No they dont
Never dont lie
You can run if you want but you cant hide
Tellin you its the truth dont you ask why
Kisses dont
No they dont
Kisses dont lie

[ Verse 2: ]
You whisper in my ear
But are your words sincere?
Cause pretty words can cut just like a knife
You see I’m nobody’s fool
I play by my own rules
So please think twice before you step into my life

[ Refrain: ]
So you see you and me
We’re gettin close to the danger zone
Show me how tell me now
Should I stay or should i go
Cause I’m caught between yes and no

Start of Something New

“High School Musical”

Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens

Living in my own world
Didn’t understand
That anything can happen
When you take a chance
I never believed in
What I couldn’t see
I never opened my heart
To all the possibilities
I know that something has changed
Never felt this way
And right here tonight

This could be the start
Of something new
It feels so right
To be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
The start of something new

Now who’d of ever thought that
We’d both be here tonight
And the world looks so much brighter
With you by my side
I know that something has changed
Never felt this way
I know it for real

This could be the start
Of something new
It feels so right
To be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
The start of something new

I never knew that it could happen
Till it happened to me
I didn’t know it before
But now it’s easy to see

It’s a start
Of something new
It feels so right
To be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart

That it’s the start
Of something new
It feels so right
To be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
The start of something new
Start of something new

| <3 . |

Innocence
"Avril Lavigne"

Waking up I see that everything is ok
The first time in my life and now it’s so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great
I wouldn’t change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don’t go away, I need you now
And I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it’s so clear
Feel calm I belong, I’m so happy here
It’s so strong and now I let myself be sincere
I wouldn’t change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don’t go away, I need you now
And I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by

It’s the state of bliss you think you’re dreaming
It’s the happiness inside that you’re feeling
It’s so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It’s the state of bliss you think you’re dreaming
It’s the happiness inside that you’re feeling
It’s so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It’s so beautiful it makes you want to cry

This innocence is brilliant, it makes you want to cry
This innocence is brilliance, please don’t go away
Cause I need you now
And I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don’t go away, I need you now
And I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by

| I thank GOD for the polka-dots in ma life right now. |

| Life now is all about work and family and love and money and savingsss and goals and all the essential neccessities… A person once told me that, in life we must have directions and visions to live to the fullest… and yes, i have one shared vision now and working towards it, patiently, dilligently, with everything that we have and with everything that we will put together hand-in-hand…. and with God’s Willing, God’s Blessings and everyone’s elses… we would want to reach to that goal,.. to that shared vision, ultimately…  fingers and toes all crossed. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I miss Jolene and Fadly and Sharon and Alan and Shaun heaps… the gang "reunion" dinner, the coffee talks, the bitching, the laughing, the hugs, the smack, the rude jokes, the pictures and everyone’s relaxed smiling faces!!

praying for Fad’s visa and Jo’s PR to go thru soon………

Work.
Darlz.
Money.Money.Money.
Polka-dots:Darlz,Deean,e gang,cuzzies,nieces,nephews
Wisdom tooth.
Ubin.
Exams.
Music.
Sept travel fair.
WIlderz.
Massage.
Daisies.
Lilies.
Bangkok.
Eeyore.
Botanic Garden.
Adek.
2008.
Car.
Cupcakes.

How much more can ma brain take…

Life.

I’m living it good! nnannannannanna :p

I L.O.V.E. ma polka-dots!                 !!!!         PeRiOd. |